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brian burns

a tragic child of heterosexuals

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Summertime

August 6, 2019August 6, 2019 · 2 Comments ·

It’s a humbling experience being the least coordinated person in a high intensity interval training class otherwise entirely attended by Baby Boomers with variations on the name “Cheryl.” Every woman … Continue reading Summertime

18 Excerpts from My 2018 Diaries

December 28, 2018December 28, 2018 · Leave a comment ·

January 1, 2018 — Brooklyn, NY Headed out in the direction of…I don’t even know. By then it was 1:00 and my train home wasn’t until 7:30 so I had … Continue reading 18 Excerpts from My 2018 Diaries

17 Excerpts from My 2017 Diaries

December 27, 2017December 27, 2017 · 2 Comments ·

I’ve been keeping a diary since the fourth grade. Which means that I’ve been keeping a diary for 14 years. Which means it’s been 14 years since I imitated William … Continue reading 17 Excerpts from My 2017 Diaries

Burning the Overnight Oil

August 3, 2017 · 2 Comments ·

  Besides that shift when a guest hung their dry cleaning from the fire detector and Shining-ed half the hotel’s rooms with Boston bus riots-era gushing water, my overnights were … Continue reading Burning the Overnight Oil

If the Loneliness Comes, Beep Me

March 10, 2017March 10, 2017 · 36 Comments ·

For much the same reason that my career in journalism began and ended before I received my college degree, I was late to the gay loneliness article—not getting around to … Continue reading If the Loneliness Comes, Beep Me

Postgrad Partum

December 28, 2016December 28, 2016 · 3 Comments ·

I missed my last day of high school to go to a prom in New Jersey. Though I’d been living in New Hampshire for five years by the end of … Continue reading Postgrad Partum

Hunger Is the Best Sauce

November 28, 2016December 28, 2016 · 3 Comments ·

Embezzlement was something of a running theme throughout my fourth grade experience. Ten years old with two working parents, a bagged lunch was out of the question for me. Unless … Continue reading Hunger Is the Best Sauce

Underemployment is Underrated

October 27, 2016December 28, 2016 · 1 Comment ·

A few weeks before graduating from college with $185,000 in student loan debt and a few weeks after my editors at the job I’d anticipated becoming full-time demoted me to … Continue reading Underemployment is Underrated

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